Advance for Nurses, a print and online publication devoted to the nursing profession, recently featured an article on the Sons to Dads program. Read the article.

Today was an unusually good day because I had the pleasure of seeing several of the new dads that had recently attended the SONS to DADS classes.

The first new dad I met was sitting in the Newborn Nursery with his baby.  In our conversation he told me how he attended some of the baby showers with his wife. He said when it came to playing some of the games like how to change the diaper and put on a t-shirt, he "smoked ‘em." I asked, 'how come?" When he said, “because of what I learned in class” it was music to my ears.

Later, at another hospital, I met the lovely wife of one of my recent students. She gave me a full ongoing report of how well he was caring for their new infant. Her facial expressions, jesters and twinkle in her eye told the rest of the story. She had so much love and appreciation for him and for what he was doing for her and their baby.

As I left the room, I thought to myself, it just keeps getting better.

    

While on my Daddy Rounds, three grandparents exited the room, I was just about to enter. I asked if the dad was in, when suddenly, the dad opened the door slightly to inform the grandparents that mom was going to feed the baby and not to expect to come in for thirty minutes. 

Surprisingly, he saw me and said to his parents, “This is Bill” and ducked back in. A strange look came over their faces as they looked at me. One of the women started to walk toward me and in a rather loud voice said, “I’ve got to give you a hug” as she approached me with arms open wide.  “Why, what did I do?” I asked. “You have turned my son-in-law into a perfect daddy”, she replied.  “It wasn’t me”, I said, “It’s him, he is the one that wanted to learn, I’m just the means that brought it all together.”

 

Recently I have received several letters and comments about the outcome of men’s experience of being a new dad.  Some are very simple; however, others go in depth. One young dad wrote saying how well he was prepared and how he realized how much he had learned in just three hours. Another soon-to-be dad, for the second time, looked me up the other night to express his gratitude. He also wanted me to meet his three year old with tales of his deep relationship with his son and how he was now looking forward to the pending birth of his daughter.

SONS to DADS is not an answer to all situations, rather it is intended to introduce the soon-to-be dad to the basics of caring for the new mom and baby. Kind of like taking driver’s education, there is the need for classroom study and simulator time. In the SONS to DADS classes the expecting dad is exposed to a lot of the “what ifs” and how to respond, as well as the “how to” part of being a new dad. He also has the opportunity to work, hands-on (the simulator), with a doll in the “all guy” classroom environment.

The longer I present these classes the more I learn just how important this is to new dads. It gives me a great sense of satisfaction to know that I, in some way, will be a part of your lives.

THANKS!

I have the privilege of going from one Baptist hospital to another on a daily basis to meet many new dads of all ages.  Recently I had a chance to meet a very mature young man, who gave me something to think about when he said “we can’t choose our father but we can choose how to treat our children”.  Consider that as you look forward to your new life with your baby.  Ask yourself, what kind of daddy will I be?  Remember your baby did not choose you to be his/her dad.

Recently I received an e-mail from a friend of mine who works with the National Fatherhood Initiative, telling me about A National Survey of Mother's Attitudes on Fathering. 

• When asked what they would prefer, a hospital that provided support to the father during her pregnancy or one that didn't, the results were clear.  Nine out of ten moms said they'd choose the hospital that provided support for dad.

• On the flip side of the coin, 1 out of 3 moms didn't think their health care provider worked to involve the father of her child during her pregnancy.

The moms had plenty of other interesting insights on dads and fatherhood. This is one more reason we are working so diligently making the Baptist Health System the Father Friendly Place.

You never know how things can affect other events in our lives and in the lives of others. 

Recently I have received many comments that have lifted my spirits and inspired me to do better than I have in the previous years. I marvel when I see young men (and don’t mean just in years) asking questions that would have made their own fathers and grandfathers blush or feel very uncomfortable. Many of you new dads have told me how you are so much closer to your baby and to the new mom. New moms often brag to me about their husbands and how “he has stepped up” and “is doing things” that she did not know he could do.

I get a lot of the credit; but, it is the new generation of new dads that are really making things change.  Who knew dads could or would make such a difference in their own family and in the community where they live. You never know what is going to happen after the SONS to DADS class has been dismissed and all those eager guys get home.

Kudos to all of you new dads past, present and yet to be, keep up the good work.

I recently received an email from the Administrative Assistant in the Adult Ministries Department at Cornerstone Church. I was deeply moved by it and thought I'd share it with you. Thank you CJ for your kind words and encouragement.

Bill,

God is using you mightily to restore the family unit that the "world" and the "enemy" are trying to destroy.  I was 10 & 12 years old when my half sisters were born and I don't remember ever seeing their father change a diaper, feed them, dress them or care for them in any way. I truly believe that was because he didn't want to appear inept and that he was taught by generations before him that caring for the children was "woman's work". 

You give these new fathers a confidence and an "I can do this" attitude…and, in so doing, bless the momma and baby too. I believe that a father who is directly involved in the care of his children from birth is less likely to abandon them later. You install a sense of personal value to their family -- they gain a sense that they have a positive purpose and a role in their child's life, not just an observer or disciplinarian. I am running across the new dads that have taken your class and they are truly enjoying being new fathers. Keep up the good work. 

CJ Gonzales

Over the past two months I have been going over my class material looking for something new that would get the new dad’s attention.  In the process I found myself wondering what would be going through a brand new mom’s mind.  I would like to share with you what I found.

Consider this, if the roles could be reversed...You've just given everything you've had to bring this new life into the world, the doctor is finishing up, all the excitement is across the room with all the family filled with excitement. Suddenly, without any sense of expectation, the one you love sits close beside you, gently holds your hand for just a brief moment and simply slips a small hand written card into your grasp. I wonder how we would feel to have those fleeting thoughts on paper that would be remembered for a life time! 

So, as you are packing bags to go to the hospital for the delivery of your baby, take the time to include a few of those general purpose “Thank You” or “I Love You” cards.  Who knows, you may find more than one reason to leave your loved one a special note on the occasion.

We are living in a time of great change. I have had many conversations recently about our changing times and the effect it is having on the next generation. Many are doing things that their parents never thought of. This is evident in the new fathers that attend the Baptist Health System’s just for men’s training program SONS to DADS.

A couple of comments that I have received over the past few months will help bring this point home.  One young man said, "I really have not learned anything about being a father from my dad.  He has always been the provider of the family, not a caregiver."  Another stated, "my dad was not allowed to be in the delivery room when I was born, so what guidance can he give me that would prepare me for the birth of my baby?"

Believe me when I say that I can understand their feelings and that is why I depend on the comments made by expecting dads that attend the SONS to DADS classes to help me in preparation for the next class.  Their comments provide me with the feedback that is needed to meet the needs of our new dads, to break the old mold of their father and make ready for a new pattern for their sons and daughters to follow to make a stronger family unit. 

One soon-to-be-dad made this comment on the evaluation at the end of the class.  The SONS to DADS program is “doing a great thing helping people with probably the biggest responsibilities of their lives.”  Another man said, “I have learned that it is alright to be a tender and loving father.” 

Children are a gift from the Lord; babies are a reward. - Psalm 127:3 By training our new dads we are creating a new pattern for the new families of tomorrow by protecting our gifts today.